By Gayle Fidanzo, Executive Director of Choice Adoptions
The short answer is No.
Adoption agencies exist to help you fully understand what pregnancy choices you have and to answer any questions you may have. Adoption is just one choice, and even if you meet with an adoption professional and fill out some initial paperwork, nothing is final until after you have selected a family you love, the baby is born, and you haven’t changed your mind. You are free to reconsider your decision up until the time you sign the consent to adoption. And that happens after the baby is born, and only if you want it to.
One option is to “dual plan”. That is, at the beginning of your pregnancy journey you may choose to work with one of our advocates and enjoy the stability and peace of mind working with a reputable and compassionate agency brings. It’s not necessary to decide 100% to parent or to make an adoption plan at this point. Even after you have chosen and matched with an adoptive family you love and trust, you can change your mind before signing consent at the hospital.
The decision you make about your and your baby’s future is a no guilt, no shame decision. To be perfectly transparent, there are always some decisions we make in life that make us second guess ourselves. Why? Because ultimately a choice does have to be made, and with an unexpected pregnancy there is a built-in timeline. Forty weeks or less is a short time to make such an important decision. Will there be some regrets if you place your baby for adoption? Probably. But will there also be some regrets if you decide to parent before you are ready? Most likely. Will there be regrets if you allow your baby to go into foster care? Definitely. However, we all have the right to make the best choice we can at the time under the circumstances we find ourselves in. When you make a decision out of love and with the goal to keep you and your baby safe and loved, then the regrets diminish and the sense of pride in doing what’s best rises.
Our adoptive families are carefully vetted and trained. They would love with their whole hearts to be parents, but they also know that you have the right to decide for your baby and to make that choice right up until the time you sign consent. If you change your mind before that time, they will be heartbroken, but they will understand that the baby that is meant for their family will come to them when the time is right.
My heart’s desire is that every parent with an unexpected pregnancy who feels like they are in an impossible situation would be able to work with one of our birthparent advocates. A birthparent advocate will be a true ally. She will help you find clarity and under her care you will experience true compassion and friendship. She will help you by relieving you of much of the stress of an unexpected pregnancy so that you can make a decision that you can ultimately own and be proud of. You deserve an ally that is 100% on your side. Don’t settle for less.
Want to talk with one of our advocates? Click HERE or text 541-801-0930.
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