What does it mean to “rethink adoption”? It means that adoption has been around for a very long time, and it’s changed a lot! As a modern, private adoption agency, we get a lot of questions about how adoption works and unfortunately there’s a lot of misinformation out there.
Here at Choice, we’re about adoption and advocacy. That means that if you choose to place your child for adoption, you are in the driver’s seat! You get to decide what kind of an adoption experience you want. Your adoption journey should be something beautiful that you can feel confident about.
Here are a few of the most common Adoption Myths that we are in the business of busting:
Myth #1: Adoption is “giving the baby up.”
In the words of author Charlie Mackesy, “Asking for help isn’t giving up…It’s refusing to give up.” At Choice, we do not use the term “giving up for adoption.” You are not giving up on this baby. You are not giving up on yourself. Placing a child for adoption is one of the most sacrificial things a woman could ever do. It is a beautiful act of love that shows how deeply a mother cares about her child. It can be so scary to make that first call, especially if there are voices in your life telling you that placing a child for adoption would be failure. Putting the needs of another person before your own is the definition of love and that is the courageous thing that birth parents do every day. By calling an advocate, looking into options, learning all you can, and making an adoption plan for your baby, you are refusing to give up. It is a profound act of love for yourself and your child. And we will never stop honoring and celebrating our birth parents.
Myth #2: I’ll never see my baby again.
At Choice, our birth parents have options, empowerment, and an advocate who makes sure they get the adoption experience that’s right for them. Many birth parents choose open adoption. That means that they get updates/photos, visits, and a relationship with their child as they grow up. Other birth parents choose closed adoptions. They want their child in a loving home, but they don’t want or can't have much contact with the baby. That’s okay too. We tailor-make adoption plans for each of our clients!
Okay. I’ve gotta brag on our AMAZING adoptive families for a second. Because, wow! What an incredible group of people. Our waiting families are committed to working with our birth parents. They are here to provide that permanent home for your baby, and to make sure their child knows how much they are loved by their adoptive AND birth parents.
Myth #3: Adoption makes kids feel abandoned.
This is a myth we come across quite a lot. Adoption doesn’t upset the development of children. Those feelings of abandonment don’t come from being adopted. They come from unanswered questions. When a child grows up knowing nothing about where they came from, it can create confusion. Children adopted through Choice will grow up knowing that they are loved by their birth parents. In open adoptions, many of these kids grow up knowing their birth parents and visiting with them as they grow up. We also train all of our adoptive families on how to talk about adoption. We want to provide safe and stable environments where kids grow up knowing that they are loved by each and every one of their parents.
Myth #4: I’m out of options with this pregnancy.
Unexpected pregnancy can feel so overwhelming and scary, but you are not alone. We are here to help you consider all of your options and build the kind of adoption experience you want. What kind of life do you want to build for yourself and your child? If you want to create an adoption plan, you can call an advocate today, and we’ll help you find that baby’s adoptive home. If you’re still figuring out what you want to do, let’s talk! Our advocates are standing by. We want to help you make a decision that that you are really proud of.