How Choice Adoptions' Support Changes Lives: A Birth Parent Story and the Mission of Ethical Adoption

THE STORY: Nina’s Strength, Her Child’s Fight, and the Heart of Choice Adoptions’ Work

When Nina and Jake moved to Oregon with their one-year-old daughter, Jenny, they hoped to build a more stable future. They had grown up in the South and met in college in the Northeast. After visiting Oregon, they felt drawn to the state’s beauty and opportunities, and they decided it was the right place to finish their schooling and raise their family. Nina always expected that once she was more established, she would return home to her extended family.

At four months pregnant, Nina contacted Choice Adoptions, an Oregon adoption agency known for ethical adoption practices and strong birth parent support. She and Jake had each placed a child for adoption in the past, and they both felt familiar and comfortable with open adoption. With Jenny’s medical needs and their desire to build secure careers, they believed adoption might be the best plan for their unborn baby.

From the start, Nina showed determination and resilience. She worked for Uber, found full-time employment, secured housing, enrolled in benefits, and began an online bachelor’s degree program. Jake stayed home to care for Jenny, and Nina focused on building stability for her family.

During this time, Choice Adoptions provided essential support that made it possible for Nina to continue working and caring for her children. We helped cover half of her rent. We ensured she had a working phone so she could stay employed and safe. We provided grocery support each month. We also replaced the unsafe tires on her older car so she could drive to work, drive for Uber, and get to medical appointments. We made sure she had maternity clothes she could wear at her job.

Two months before her due date, Nina and Jake met with two hopeful adoptive families and found a match they felt good about. Nina trusted the adoptive family so much that she asked them to choose a name for the baby.

As the pregnancy continued, new challenges surfaced. Nina learned her baby had developed medical complications. She also reported domestic violence in her relationship with Jake. At one point, he took her car, leaving her unable to get to work or medical appointments. When he returned, she explained to her advocate that she planned to leave the relationship when she felt she could do so safely. For the time being, she still relied on him to help with Jenny and the pregnancy. Choice offered counseling and midwife services, and although she declined, her advocate continued meeting with her regularly. Together they created safety plans in case the violence continued. A CPS case was eventually opened involving Jenny, and Nina believed the referral came from medical staff.

One month before her due date, Nina went into labor. She drove herself to the hospital in the middle of the night and experienced a frightening and complicated delivery. Her baby boy was immediately taken to the NICU. Doctors told her he had a fifty percent chance of survival. Nina felt overwhelmed and afraid. She worried that the stress she had been under had contributed to his condition.

After talking with hospital social workers and seeing her son fighting to survive, her heart shifted. She realized she wanted to parent him. Even though she had built a thoughtful adoption plan, she now knew she wanted to raise her baby.

Choice fully supported her decision.

This is what ethical adoption looks like. Birth parents are supported as whole people, not pressured into placement. They are empowered to choose what is right for them and their child, even if that means changing the plan and deciding to parent.

Many people do not realize that this kind of birth parent advocacy is one of the most important parts of our work. Early support often leads to birth parents choosing to parent, which we see as a positive and healthy outcome. When a family can safely stay together, we celebrate. But these situations come with significant expenses that are not reimbursed the way adoptive placements are. Housing help, transportation, food support, safety planning, medical access, and advocacy all continue even when an adoption does not occur.

These are some of the most meaningful services we provide, and they rely entirely on donor support.

GIVING TUESDAY: Help Us Provide Ethical Adoption Support and Keep Families Together

Nina’s story shows the impact of compassionate, unrestricted support for birth parents. Her stability, her safety planning, her ability to work, and her ability to care for her children were all made possible because people in our community chose to give.

When a birth parent decides to parent, it is a win. It means a family stays together. It means a child remains safely with their parent. But these outcomes also mean there is no financial reimbursement for months of support, even though the need remains just as real.

This Giving Tuesday, we are asking for your help so we can continue saying yes to families like Nina’s. Yes to safety. Yes to stable housing. Yes to food and medical access. Yes to birth parent support without restrictions. Yes to services that center the wellbeing of parents and children.

Your donation ensures that when a parent reaches out in crisis, we can respond with compassion and practical help rather than conditions.

If you are able, please consider making a Giving Tuesday gift today.

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Thank you so much for your support!

We couldn't do this without our donors, and the more we're able to raise, the more we can expand our support for birth parents so that no matter the outcome, we can help birth parents from all backgrounds and walks of life.

If you are a birth parent in need of support or you would just like to learn more about our birth parent advocates program, click here.